a survival guide for life

now i know you might think that this is going to tell you how to live and be healthy so you can survive and live as long as possible.  But i'm not, i'm going to tell you how to survive life, loneliness heartache heartbreak and depression. 

step 1- find music that makes you happy, not music that's on the radio not music that your friends like. Music that YOU like. 

step 2- find your comfort food and eat it . ( like pizza, cookie dough, ice cream, chocolate milk, sponge bob mac and cheese ) because you're gonna need it a lot

step 3- make a Netflix account and watch Friends, One tree hill, and How I met your mother 

step 4- repeat step 3 and add step 2

step 5- find someone that makes you happy (pets and stuffed animals work) and talk to them 

step 6- go for a run, even if you hate running just run as fast as you can so you can feel your heart beat and your lungs burn, that way you can remember you are alive

step 7- BREATHE

step 8- look up sloth gifs, they will make you laugh

step 9- remember you are strong, and your life isn't as bad as you sometimes think

repeat 

Beating heart

Being alive is my heart beating in my chest so fast that it hurts 

Being alive is dancing in the rain feeling the rain drop on my skin running slowly and my body shivering fast 

Being alive is the moment right before I held hands with a boy for the first time. That feeling of my heart beating out of my chest 

Maybe  all we need to feel alive is to make our heart pump a little faster so we can feel it. Because sometimes we forget it's there.

brick wall

an enormous wall stacked up high

 with cold hard bricks divides me

 from who i really am, from who i want to be

I’ve tried knocking it down

I’ve tried climbing over it

but it seems to tall, to strong

and every day it gets higher and stronger

 and

       im

          just

               too

                     small.

love?

so heres the thing.

the thing about love

its a feeling? A feeling 

thats suppossed to take your breath 

Away.                                                             

leaves you smiling 

laughing 

crying 

and its supposed to make everything.

all the tears

the mistakes

the hopes being crushed so hard

that you can feel your self sinking 

the emotions like looking through 

a magnifying glass

easier. 

but when it doesnt?

every.little.thing.is.

that 

much 

Bigger

that much harder.

its supposed to make everything 

worth it 

but thats the thing

the thing about love

it doesnt feel worth it.
and i dont even know what love is, ive never felt it