Thoughts

This morning my sister asked me why I was so sad all the time and I couldn't answer with out crying  because I seem to ask myself  the same question

Right now I'm thinking about how I spent most of my weekends in senior year in my basement than I did out with friends

Right now I'm dreaming about being back in New York exploring new bakeries

Right now I'm thinking about how I've lost who I used to be and I don't know how to find myself again

I'm writing ting this in my basement hiding from my dad because I'm not supposed to use my phone on Sunday's #rebel

Right now I'm trying to decide what outfit I should wear for my senior pictures tomorrow

Right now I'm thinking about if I'll ever get my first kiss

Right now I'm thinking about how I'm probably not going to pass the AP psychology test and it's the easiest one

Right now I'm thinking about how much I love my grandma and how deeply she cares for me

Unforgettable memories

I remember when I was little my mom used to be able to run only when she was pushing a shopping cart but now she can't seem to walk unless she has somthing to hold on to, I remember when I used to be able to come home to count on her to make me laugh. My mom was diagnosed with MS, and scoliosis 19 years ago, then with major depression and anxiety 5 years later. this has been my life me constantly worrying about her hoping that she will be okay wondering if she will be able to walk around the grocery store by her self . Sometimes I sacrifice my weekend plans to make sure that she is happy and doing okay. My biggest fear is moving out because I'm scared that no one will be able to take good care of her and make her happy. This isnt something a teenage girl should be worrying about, but this is my life and this is my story and this is helped me become who I am.